"The Talk"

During our small group discussion on Boy Meets Boy last week, I shared with my group a story which I found humorous but really shows how different people handle differences. My mother is one of those mothers who receives a forward e-mail about men who jump into women's cars at railroad tracks and gas stations and immediately sends it to me. She reads every parenting magazine she can possibly get her hands on cover to cover. Any suggestions given in the magazine or on Oprah or whatever she happens to be watching that day, she takes. Whether it's beginning each statement with "I feel..." in an argument or sitting down to have weekly family meetings in which the family goals for that week are laid out, my mom thinks it's a great idea and has to try it. Because my mother is the way she is, from a young age I have had "the talks" about anything from strangers offering me candy, to what if there's a fire in the middle of the night, to drugs, to sex, and the list goes on. I remember specifically one meeting that my  mom called when I was a sophomore in high school after she had read an article in People magazine about a young man who was gay and who never came out to his parents or anyone for fear that he would not be accepted and ended up committing suicide and leaving his parents a "coming out" note. 

That night my mother called a family meeting that my dad refused to participate in. She sat down with my brothers and me and told us that if we ever realized one day that we were gay she wanted us to know that no matter what she would love and accept us and be there to support us 100%. At the time my brothers and I were like "Oh my God, Mom, really?" My youngest brother got really offended that my mom was even bringing this up. My father wouldn't' even participate. It's not that he is homophobic. He is an office furniture designer and has many homosexual friends through his career. However, I guess it's just different for him and more difficult to accept one of his own children breaking the norms of society. I realize now that what my mom did was monumental in today's society. Knowing that we have her support would be huge if I had something that big to tell her. Sometimes I wish she was that supportive about other things. What I realize now is that even though I thought my mom's talks were ridiculous at the time, she was just doing what every parent, friend, and human being should be doing which is accepting people for who and what they are and supporting them in whatever way possible by showing and verbally reminding them of your unconditional love for them. There is not nearly enough of this occurring in today's society which is probably why so many homosexuals are still hidden or commit suicide. If people feel accepted and free to be who they truly are, I am convinced there would be a significant fewer number of people suffering from depression and identity crises. I realize now that I am lucky to have the mom that I do. Thanks mom.